Boobies

Lately we’ve been looking into picking up a new desktop or at the very least a new lap top. Our current POS, otherwise known as a Dell Inspiron 5100 that I picked up in college has developed a nasty habit of shutting down of its own will. I’m sure its developed this little quirk just to raise my ire and is calling my bluff that I one day I will help it discover its aerodynamics from the third floor bedroom window if it doesn’t stop misbehaving…Trust me…I’m going to do it, I swear to God I will, one day in what I hope will be the very near future I’m going to show it that I don’t bluff and then on that day all of our other electrical appliances that have given me lip will finally shut the hell up and do the job that I purchased them to do.

The irony in all of this is that every review that we’ve been reading keeps leading us back to a newer Dell…and God help me I HATE Dell. Their customer service SUCKS ASS, their preloaded BS programs are damn near impossible to remove and once you do get them removed you’ve got to repair so many windows files that you’re probably better off just reformatting the hard drive when it arrives on your door step. We’ve toyed with the idea of picking up an Ibook to help us work with the huge number of photos we take and to begin designing the blogs and our wood working site a little more easily, but we just can’t seem to get over the apple hump.

Who knows how we’re going to pay for this addition, but we’ll figure it out…I mean really we’ll just add it to the list…web hosting, camera, vacation, new boobies for Wife, laptop…it all fits.

Speaking of new boobies for Wife, that reminds me of one of my favorite “Family Guy” episodes, thanks to YouTube for helping me relive this moment.

Gotta love the Side Boob hour…and it’s a perfect tribute to our “New Boobies” for Wife fund, click the link and donate again and again…if you donate lots, we might just give you a view of the new side boobs…

Mac & PC

South Park parody on the Mac and PC commercials.

Thanks to YouTube

What did they say?

Overheard at the movies last night:
“I mean, you have to like the guy you’re going to marry a little bit right?”
Oh the dark and bleak future these girls are going to have…

Heavy???

 After Wife read yesterday’s installment of my crazy life, she kind of freaked…not freaked in a bad way, but freaked none the less. It seems I get a little too heavy in some of my posts…is it true? Am I getting too heavy with my readers? I don’t think so, after all this is one of my only outlets to unleash the crazy building inside. So world if I’m getting too deep or too heavy for you too damn bad. It’s better that I reveal it here rather than out on the highway with my front bumper and those kids in the crosswalk, or that lady in the Lexus that always cuts me off on the way to work…you know who you are and I know you know that you ALWAYS cut me off. It’s like some perverted little game that you like to play, but no more missy…I’m on to you…

Iphone Madness

Not only did the new Apple Iphone bring us light years into the future. Bringing us sweet features, music, video and web to your phone but it also comes with another sweet ass option, a 300 page phone bill. Hey folks, you can’t make progress without bashing the environment a little, I mean really who needs those pesky rain forests anyhow.

Thanks to Justine Ezarik at TastyBlogSnack.com for bringing this to light and thanks to YouTube for allowing her to post her outrage

Grown Up

Lately we’ve been contemplating and flip flopping about moving and changing jobs just to shake things up a bit. The tough part about this is that there’s no reason for it and definitely wouldn’t get us closer to our ultimate goal, self employment. So after many, many conversations about where we could move, what jobs we could do and how long it would take for us to get bored there and do it all over again Wife and I realized that we needed to stay put, save our money and get ourselves out of debt. This however is far easier said than done. The problem we’re faced with is that I’m the youngest and never have been good with money and Wifecame from a household of psychopaths that made you feel like you weren’t good enough for new things and that if you did get something new you damn well had better appreciate it…so you add these two pieces together and you have my easy going whim of lets just spend until there’s nothing left to spend and Wife’s ingrained desire for new and better things just to prove that she’s not becoming her mother. Not the best combo for saving money, getting out of debt and moving on to our new life of self employed do nothings…

Everyday I drive into work and pass my old high school and watch those kids with envy. So care free, so unaware and just so stupid…I say stupid because I remember what I used to think when I was that age, walking up and down those very same halls. Nothing to worry about because when I left there at 18 I was going to do something I absolutely loved, something that I was passionate about, something that would allow me to continue with my care free out look. Oh man how times have changed…I’m definitely not doing something I love and I am most certainly not passionate about it.

I chalk this all up to the fact that I’ve never really been passionate about something. Years and years of guidance counselors telling me that one day I’d wake up with that burning desire and understanding of my purpose in life and on that day I would know who I was. Well here I am 12 years later and all I know is that they were full of shit man…I am no closer to waking up with that kind of insight than I am at turning wool into gold.

I think the only refuge of hope for a better future is left in my woodwork. I would say that when I’m in the work shop that, that is the closest I have ever been to being passionate about work.

I do honestly believe that this is where I need to focus my life, but it’s difficult…it’s not an easy buck and it definitely takes time to move from the cloudy inspiration in my head to a finished product. Then there’s the fact that I still have to pay those nasty bills like the mortgage and car payments, all of which serve to keep me from spending necessary time in the shop.

So here I am 12 years later and I’m still a confused and frightened 18 year old looking for some light at the end of the tunnel. Torn between making ends meet in a job that I detest and struggling to find an outlet in the work shop. If we could only win that Power Ball jackpot, life would be so much easier…

Bjork mork mork fork…

So the other night we made our first trip to Ikea. Yeah…that was bad, not bad as in oh my God we’re never going back to that hell hole of a place kind of bad. No, no, it was bad as in I will never be able to let Wife venture into the store unaccompanied…EVER…

The moment we walked into the store her eyes were the size of dinner plates and the audible gasp was that of a dying man having found the fountain of youth. I’m chalking this up to the Norse blood coursing through her pale little body having found a strange familiarity in the quirky Swedish designs and various other space saving Northern European furniture.

I will admit that she wasn’t the only one a little excited about the entire ordeal. I mean common, we’ve been living with hand me down furniture that I grew up with, for our entire 6 years of married life. This stuff is so old that I have memories of playing pole position on the Atari 2600 on this furniture, I had chicken pox in the 3rd grade on this furniture, needless to say it’s time to move on, and Ikea is helping to fuel that move. Seriously people…they had a couch that was muy comfortable and was like $350.00…that’s right $350 measly smackers for a new couch. So not only was it comfortable, it was affordable…two of Wife’s favorite words.

I will admit however, that I am a little worried that if we do purchase this furniture, that I’m going to wake up from a nap on the couch to find Wife looming over me, brandishing her viking sword and speaking like the Swedish chef from the Muppets.

Sun Burned Toes

So as of late I’ve been on a vacation rampage. Chalk it up to the dog days of summer or the fact that the only time I ever get a real weekend with the wife is when I’m on vacation or that my job is an unholy pit of despair that there is no escape from…your choice, but I personally like the last one the best.

So for the last 2 weeks I’ve been fighting the urge to book a weeks vacation in Cancun for the sheer guilty pleasure of being out of the country with my toes buried in the sand and a happy tropical drink in my hand. I mean really, what’s wrong with this fantasy? Absolutely nothing except for when I have to return to my dark little pit of a job the following week, only to be bombarded with the upcoming non stop torment that is winter and my job. Wife thinks that this week of bliss would only lead to a downward spiral of drinking way too much after a dark day of work, all in an attempt to remember those happy hours in which I wallowed on some beach in Mexico. Apparently this wouldn’t be healthy, or so says Wife…I think she’s afraid that I’ll just drink all the gin.

So I think my fuzzy beach vacation has been put off to some unforeseen date in the spring. As for now we’re debating about Jackson Hole Wyoming or Viva Las Vegas baby…

I’m a little torn between the two. Vegas is, well Vegas and Jackson is such a kick ass little mountain town, especially in the fall when you practically have the place to yourself. I honestly think I’m leaning more towards Jackson. Something about the cool pre-winter/post autumn air, a warm fire place and the mountains…gotta love the mountains as well as the sheer beauty of Jackson.

I’m also a little torn because the absolute best 2 meals that I have ever had have been from both areas. In Jackson you have the Snake River Grill that produces the best food that has ever touched anyone’s lips. Then you have Vegas and some teeny tiny little Italian shop/restaurant in the Venician…

I’m thinking Jackson…slower pace, great food, a warm cozy room, and nothing to worry about…
Then again…

Jackson does seem to have their priorities right. I mean any town in which your after dinner liquor is bigger than your after dinner coffee has got to be doing something right.