Gives a new meaning to phone sex
Thanks to funnyordie.com
Friday, September 21, 2007
Oh What A Day
Bad day??? Follow these 2 steps to make it better…
Step 1: Insert Beer until day is forgotten
Step 2: Enjoy remainder of evening
Step 1: Insert Beer until day is forgotten
Step 2: Enjoy remainder of evening
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Outta my way…
This afternoon as I drove into work it dawned on me that there was an unusually large amount of traffic for 11:30 am, even for our quaint little mountain town. So there I am sitting in bumper to bumper traffic wondering what in the hell I’ve gotten myself into when I notice a car attempting to make a left turn out of a parking lot, across traffic and across the left turn lane I was currently occupying. It was then that I noticed the idea that went through this guy’s head and flashed across his face like he had just seen sweet Jesus himself ordering that latte at Star Bucks…I like to think that it went a little something like this…
1: I can sit here for god knows how long, in a fruitless attempt to make a simple left turn in this quaint little mountain town, OR……
2: I can back up into the parking lot and leave through one of the other exits, buuuuuut……why do that when….
3: I can still back up and just make a left onto the sidewalk and get into traffic at the next driveway a block away…Yeah…that’s a good idea
So sure enough Mr. Wizard took option 3 and merrily drove his way down the side walk to the next driveway where he once again sat, waiting to make a left turn…I swear…I might as well move to L.A. because it seems all the jackasses from there have moved here…
1: I can sit here for god knows how long, in a fruitless attempt to make a simple left turn in this quaint little mountain town, OR……
2: I can back up into the parking lot and leave through one of the other exits, buuuuuut……why do that when….
3: I can still back up and just make a left onto the sidewalk and get into traffic at the next driveway a block away…Yeah…that’s a good idea
So sure enough Mr. Wizard took option 3 and merrily drove his way down the side walk to the next driveway where he once again sat, waiting to make a left turn…I swear…I might as well move to L.A. because it seems all the jackasses from there have moved here…
Sunday, September 9, 2007
So Real
Woodland Rain Shampoo
SO REAL
Thanks to Funny or Die and Tom Basden Raven Burnett Tim Key Eric Scherbarth J Van Tulleken
SO REAL
Thanks to Funny or Die and Tom Basden Raven Burnett Tim Key Eric Scherbarth J Van Tulleken
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Simple Things
After growing up in a house where child slavery was not only condoned but practiced I find that it’s the simple things of life that make it worth living. Things like coming home to two frantic dogs, a loving wife and a new dish washer…
No more hours of slaving over that soapy sink, dreading the sharp sting of the vegetable peeler as your 5 year old fingers probe the bottom of the sink like a pirate digging for gold…no siree. I’m in and out in 5 minutes and then I’m barreling for the door to meet the other neighborhood child slaves for a quick game of cops and robbers…now if I were only 25 years younger this wouldn’t be so disturbing
Like I said, it’s all about the simple things in life……
No more hours of slaving over that soapy sink, dreading the sharp sting of the vegetable peeler as your 5 year old fingers probe the bottom of the sink like a pirate digging for gold…no siree. I’m in and out in 5 minutes and then I’m barreling for the door to meet the other neighborhood child slaves for a quick game of cops and robbers…now if I were only 25 years younger this wouldn’t be so disturbing
Like I said, it’s all about the simple things in life……
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