Swing Batter Batter Swing

One of this weekends activities was playing golf. Wife was never that athletic but has taken to a number of my passions easily. So we picked up a new set of clubs for her to learn the game on and set out for the course. I’ve pushed her in the past to attempt 18 holes but I think having to use an older set of clubs and then a set that was too short just beat her up too much. With some online instruction on stance and grip that I just couldn’t quite convey to her she began to pick up the basics a little more and was bummed when we finished 9…so we paid the re-round and hit another 9…it was a good day.

Look at that view…how could be anything but a good day.

As if to move good into better we hit one of our old time favorites. It’s a little dive restaurant named Su Casa that serves some excellent Mexican food (Americanized though it may be). The absolute best is their nacho’s…Covered in melted cheese 1/2″ thick and dripping with grease…

As Martha would say…It’s a good thing

Pirates and Beer

As you can tell from my last post the wife and I are together for a brief weekend again. We spent as much time away from the house and out exploring new and old places to eat and be. One of the new places that we’ve thought about trying in the past was the California Pizza Kitchen. Sure it’s a corporate America raping the little guy for what is basically $0.50 of dough and sauce but hey…I’m an American and know just like everyone else how to bend over and take it up the rear so lay off…Anyway it was surprisingly good. We went in with lower expectations and realistically were looking for a beer in a predominantly uber Mormon neighborhood and when I say uber Mormon I mean UBER NAZI MORMON. This county is known to force businesses to close their doors to customers on Sunday to enforce the Mormon churches belief of not doing business on Sunday, that’s how UBER Mormon they are. But I digress…

The food was actually better than surprisingly good it was excellent. We ordered the Four Cheese Neapolitan and it was thin, crispy and damn good.

The other bonus to the meal was the beer and bendy straws. Ever drink beer with a bendy straw? You should try it, it’s deliciously childish and fun. I took a swig through the straw and was immediately whisked back to my childhood and was blowing bubbles in my chocolate milk. I think my mother must have known that this is how I would turn out if I continued that practice.

So here’s a warning to all you UBER MORMON NATZI’S let your kids blow their bubbles or they’ll end up in a respectable restaurant drinking beer through a straw…at least I remembered that I was in public (notice the pinky etiquette) and politely sipped…I’m not a total pig you know.

The best part was this. I think we’re perfect for each other…

Relations

I’ve made the long trek back to Park City this weekend to spend some quality time with my wife and make a vain attempt at improving the look of our yard. Upon arriving here yesterday afternoon it became apparent that the later will most likely not occur. There is just too much damage to the back lawn at this point to perform the minor surgery that I had planned on and place a few pieces of sod here and there. No, no that would be too simple for someone like me. It seems that the little bastards, otherwise known as our furry children yet again did a number on the lawn and have turned it into a vast wasteland of death and decay. Gotta love trying to sell the house of which one of our key features is that we have the largest and nicest backyard of anyone else in our area…tough to make that sell with 50% of it being a big dead mess.

Oh well…what are you going to do. I guess we’ll just have to spread a crap load of seed and hope that it takes off. Better yet maybe we can convince someone to just buy the place and we’ll give them a landscaping credit for it.

The trip hasn’t been a complete loss as of yet. I mean really who doesn’t love the haven’t seen you for like 3 weeks dirty monkey sex…and it was DIRTY MONKEY SEX…maybe I should stay away for longer next time.

The Holy Grail

It’s finally a reality…I have access to IN-N-OUT only minutes away from my doorstep. It’s a beautiful thing.
I will say that heading that direction on opening day probably wasn’t the best of ideas but hey whenever have I been rational. So I jumped right in and sat in the longest drive through line I have ever been in in my life…approximately 55 minutes to be exact, but look at those lovelies…like little pillows of warm steamy hamburger goodness how could anyone say no to them?

The beginning of my 55 minute wait for love. The line wrapped around the entire business complex that IN-N-OUT is built in.

At the 50 minute mark I was to the order board. Too bad I had already placed my order 10 minute prior with an employee standing in the parking lot.

I have finally found the Holy Grail. In a matter of moments I would be holding the key to life and love itself.

My dreams of Steamy Goodness have finally come true

The Ultimate cheese burger…the 2X4! It’s the all American artery clogging pillow of happiness and love. 2 patties and 4 slices of American cheese…mmmmmmmm good

If you want to see the entire stream of photos go here. It’s worth it…trust me…it was 55 minutes of fun

Putrid Goo

OMG

And here I thought nothing could get better than opening day of In-N-out

The Elusive 100X100

It’s true, it’s true, IT’S TRUE…… The great white whale does exist

To ARMS

So over the past few weeks I’ve been keeping tabs on the first In-N-Out in Utah to be built. It is currently in a state of readiness and the rest of the community is hanging on each day in pained anticipation to rush to its counters of steamy hamburger goodness. WHEN ARE THEY OPENING the community cries….

Well that day is close…very very close…

Rumors have it that today is that day!

Stay tuned for warm steamy goodness.

While you wait take a look at the secret underground In-N-Out menu
(thanks to the guys over at badmouth.net for compiling this information)

As If

I was in the grocery store last night when I happened to glance over at the pre-checkout beverage cooler and what did I see?

As if the regular 8.3oz of A.D.D. Obesity Heart Attack in a can wasn’t enough…now it’s been super sized to a 12oz can so that our fat ass kids can work their way that much faster towards a life of heavy breathing, medication, diabetes and cancer…WEEEEEEEEEEEE

Oh the humanity

GO TEAM VENTURE!

These guys are just too cool. If I could wrap them up in a bow and put them under my Christmas tree I would

Oh the humanity

GO TEAM VENTURE!

These guys are just too cool. If I could wrap them up in a bow and put them under my Christmas tree I would

Haven’t we all been there

So I’m once again working an odd schedule that is requiring I be in the office by 3 am. Yeah that’s right…3 A M…I know, I didn’t realize it still existed either. I had thought it to be one of those mysteries that you hear about around the camp fire…something along the lines of bigfoot and the locheness monster.

So this morning as I drowsily drove through town at a quarter after 2 I was reminded of my college days in which this was nothing…and that rather than going to work I would be heading home at this time of morning. Ohhhhhh how the times have changed.

Fast forward a few hours and I’m attempting to stay awake by reading through one my regular reads over at dooce and I come across her latest post. IF you have ever raised a puppy you absolutely MUST read it.
I have no idea how many times I have looked at Daisy that way and wondered what kind of miracle is keeping this dog alive because I have found many things out in the yard that once belonged to Wife and I, that had now been digested by our own cute and cuddly canine garbage disposal. (and yes I realize how long that sentence is, and I don’t care…so JOG on you cheeky bastards).

Happy Happy Joy Joy

So one of the grand adventures that my line of work offers me from time to time is the necessity to cover a grave shift here and there. So here I am, sitting in my office in the middle of the night wondering how did I ever sign up for this. I mean really it’s like those stories you here of guys that would go out one night and get stupid drunk only to wake up the next day in the Navy and a “Mom” tattoo on their ass. At least there they get to travel the world and see new and exciting things. The only thing I get to look forward to is a long ass night and the knowledge that I get to do this all over again at some point in the future. Yippeeeeeee…

Why do I bring all this up? This is why “I wonder if I’m getting enough ketchup.” Not so much for the post but for the title of this post. For those of you that don’t know it’s a reference to a sketch from “the Prairie Home Companion” In which they inform you of the benefits of that wonderful concoction and how it has natural mellowing agents…

I actually had a skit in mind when I read that headline, but for some reason I can’t seem to find it but this one will do. Catchup Advisory Board

Saturday, October 26, 2002 Give it a read or even better a listen…

After all, Ketchup saved their marriage…

Candy Corn

So earlier this week I caught the new Comedy Central series “Root of All Evil” staring Lewis Black. If you haven’t seen this show I highly recommend it, would I lie to you?

Anyhow, the latest episode was which is worse, Porn or YouTube and thankfully YouTube won. Patton Oswalt explains why: YOU MUST WATCH IT…YOU MUST I SAY!

Mmmmm Fake Money

So yesterday I had the opportunity to examine up close and personal a Black American Express Card. Sadly it didn’t have my name on it, but how sweet would that have been. I would have been like, Vegas, Here I come baby!

I do have to say that it was strange though. It was heavy and thick, like it had the ability to transform and kick my ass had I attempted to use it for my own gain rather than its real owner. Is this why the American economy sucks? Because we’re too busy producing heavier than normal credit cards? Thanks a lot Amex…because you had to add that .005% more plastic into that card to make it special we’re now experiencing the pinch of record oil prices. Dicks!

Desert Sunrise

This past weekend went by far too fast. I think it was because Wife was here and when you only get to see your spouse for a few days every 2-3 weeks things kinda fly by and then you’re watching them drive away. SUCKS I know…

We spent a considerable amount of time looking into neighborhoods and houses and new developments in an attempt on locating our perfect new home. The problem is that the housing market really hasn’t fallen here. Either people don’t have to get out or those that do can’t afford to drop their house to a reasonable market value because they paid too much for it in the first place. So needless to say things are getting pretty frustrating. I like one lot and home design in a new development and Wife thinks it’s beyond our reach and that we should keep looking…What are ya gonna do…

Either way this morning was a reminder that we’re moving here for a reason.